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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721251">Blind Spot</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistaspistol/pseuds/mistaspistol'>mistaspistol</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Juno Steel and the Things that Remain Unsaid [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Penumbra Podcast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Mutual Pining, Other, Others Mentioned - Freeform, Spoilers through Season Three, canonical loss of an eye, mentions of past trauma, no plot just.... gays discussing trauma, peter nureyev says juno steel's name A Lot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:54:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,848</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistaspistol/pseuds/mistaspistol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It took Peter Nureyev far longer to connect the dots than he’d care to admit. He blames his own… biases during those first couple days for his original oversight. The rest he can’t really excuse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Juno Steel and the Things that Remain Unsaid [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>146</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Blind Spot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Valentine's Day! This came to me in a fit of self indulgence at 3 AM last night, so enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It took Peter Nureyev far longer to connect the dots than he’d care to admit. He blames his own… biases during those first couple days for his original oversight. The rest he can’t really excuse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At first, he’d attributed Juno’s clumsiness to being flustered by Peter’s presence. Dropping his coffee when Buddy made her little announcement about their partnership? Understandable. When he continued to spill all over himself while attempting indignation? Classic Juno buffoonery. Tripping in six inch heels in front of hundreds of opulent party guests? A simple lack of class and experience in subterfuge. All seemingly unrelated mistakes that Peter could use as an excuse to feel derisive. But afterwards… after their talk, with hearts lain bare and petty disdain set aside, they persisted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a yarn of tentative forgiveness and truce strung fragile between them, Peter began to reassess Juno’s clumsiness as a simple quirk of his. He always had been rough around the edges, and it was endearing even, now that Peter was no longer hiding his own feelings from himself. So whenever they did an awkward dance around each other in the narrow halls of the ship and Juno’s shoulder bumped heavily against Peter’s own, he paid no mind. It was simply a product of Juno’s awkwardness combined with Peter’s own. (Their talk had merely settled the dust between them; there were still a lot of things that remained unsaid.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was on their second heist that Peter finally began to pick up on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Juno Steel made mistakes, sure. The lady had always been bullheaded and stubborn, ready to barrel into danger at the drop of a hat, but he’d never been unobservant. Aggressively the opposite, in fact. It was one of the many things about him that Peter lo- admired…. So his failure to notice the trap around the door was rather odd. Even the old Juno Steel would have at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>considered</span>
  </em>
  <span> that a genius weapons designer </span>
  <em>
    <span>might</span>
  </em>
  <span> have set traps around the entrance to their home. But, then again, Juno Steel was nothing if not a conduit of chaos, and his infuriating insistence on squabbling with Vespa </span>
  <em>
    <span>in the middle of a heist</span>
  </em>
  <span> was obviously distracting him. So Peter ignored it and continued his exasperating campaign to prevent Juno and Vespa from killing each other. The fact that Vespa triggered another trap shortly after nearly made him forget the incident altogether, too caught up in Juno’s, entirely inappropriate, smugness to linger on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Later, when they crash landed the car into the docking bay of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Carte Blanche</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and scrambled frantically from the cab mere moments before the thing burst into flames, Juno tripping and falling to the floor in his desperate escape made perfect sense. Nureyev could even excuse the stumbling, unsteady way Juno pulled himself to his feet as the stress from their nearly disastrous escape. Nureyev himself was feeling rather shaky after one too many close calls in the span of only a couple hours. But the prolonged way Juno was leaning against the wall of the ship, the way he hunched slightly, eye screwed shut and hand to his temple, was definitely cause for concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Juno?” He could hear the worry creeping into his voice, but now was not the time to judge himself. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Juno</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” he repeated with more urgency when the lady did not immediately respond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?” Juno finally grunted in response. Typical, but not really reassuring.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Juno, are you- are you alright? Did you get hurt at all?” He’s trying to quell the bubbling panic he feels in his gut, but the edges of it are beginning to spill over.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh? Yeah, no- no, I’m- I’m fine. I’m fine, Nu- Ransom. I’m fine. Just,” he sighs heavily, “just dizzy, okay? Fumes from the car making me light-headed. You don’t have to-” at this he flaps the hand that isn’t pressed to his temple dismissively at Peter, “hover around me like a mother rabbit or whatever. I’m fine.” Well, Peter hadn’t even realized how closely he’d stepped into Juno’s space. He takes a deliberate step back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know Juno, the more you repeat how ‘fine’ you are, the less inclined I am to believe it,” but Peter sighs in defeat nonetheless. If Juno is going to insist that he’s fine, then there’s not much Peter can do about it. And he does seem relatively fine now. His eye is no longer screwed shut and a few of the pained lines across his forehead have smoothed out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Ransom. Now can we quit with the third degree so I can go take a well earned nap?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I imagine the captain will want us to hang around until Rita and Jet have safely returned. Are you sure you’re alright? It’s not very like you to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right, no, that makes sense. Yeah. Gotta make sure they get back safe. Look, just, can I have a little space for a minute? Please?” A well of hurt bubbles up within him, and Peter fills the need to snap, but something in Juno’s eye stops him. Today’s heist was a rough one, and while whatever stands between them is no longer a canyon lined with bitterness and resentment, Peter Nureyev and Juno Steel, as they are now, are still new to each other. The rift may be closing, but they still have yet to cross it, and whatever emotion lingers in Juno’s gaze, Peter does not yet feel privy to pursue it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Space. If that’s what Juno truly needs at the moment, he can grant him that. He trusts him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, Juno. Let me know-” he stops himself. “I’ll be in the command deck,” The </span>
  <em>
    <span>if you need me</span>
  </em>
  <span> goes unsaid, but the shy smile curving the corners of Juno’s lips says he must have heard it anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Be there in a minute,” and oh, the softness in Juno’s voice does not go unnoticed. Peter stares a few seconds longer than necessary before clearing his throat and continuing down the hall like he’d said he would.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Another couple hours, a whole lot of chaos, and some heartbreak later, Rita and Jet arrive on ship in the Ruby 7 with the body of an ex-weapons designer and the mournful chords of a key to a legend. The aftermath is a rough one. Juno and Rita retreat to her room to watch streams and eat ice cream, Vespa disappears to the med bay with the body to do… something, and Jet and Buddy descend to the garage for what Peter can only imagine is a very heavy heart-to-heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Left to his own devices, Peter finds himself in his own quarters, falling mindlessly into his post-heist routine as he begins to file through the day's events. It’s a new thing he’s trying, re-examining. With time, maybe he won’t have to file so many things away in the first place. For now, though, he plucks today’s events from his “for future consideration” folder, and considers them at present.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s concerned about Juno. Again. Always. But pinning down why takes a bit of effort. He presents the evidence to himself in reverse order. The dizziness after their narrow escape: easily attributed to the stress of the situation both on mind and body. The oversight of what might have been an easily avoided trap: the tension between their little group was highly distracting, mistakes came as no real surprise. Every time Juno stumbled on the ship, every time he bumped into Peter, every time he spilled his coffee, or cereal, or an entire bottle of nail polish: Peter had originally contributed these occurrences to the adjustment period needed for acclimating to life on a spaceship. However, as they persisted, he was vain enough to contribute them to his own presence. He knew he flustered Juno. The ex-detective wasn’t doing much to hide it at this point. But now, in hindsight, he feels a bit egotistical.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter puts a cap on his makeup remover and continues to examine the evidence. It wasn’t just him Juno would bump into, now that he thinks about it. He recalls several times in the kitchen when Juno had accidentally collided with Buddy, or Jet, or Rita, or, on a very unfortunate occasion, Vespa. He can recall several hip checks to the counter, the table, and the chairs as well. All such little things that Peter had never bothered giving any of them any real consideration. But now, as their volume rises in his memory, Peter feels silly for not connecting the dots sooner. His mind reaches further back, to those interactions before their </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The spilled coffee, stumbling in the heels and dress. Lack of class and innate clumsiness seemed like fair excuses at the time, but now with his resentment set aside, he reevaluates. Juno’s worn heels and dresses plenty of times in the past and proven he can move quickly in them. Given Juno’s apparent skill on the dance floor, he certainly knows how to be graceful if necessary.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was only one answer that made sense, but Peter had been choosing to ignore it. It wriggled at the back of his mind until he could no longer keep it at bay. Whether he was ignoring it for his own trauma about the situation, or because of some deep seated shame, Peter didn’t care to differentiate. But it was quite plain that the loss of Juno’s eye has been affecting him greatly. And of course, because he’s Juno, he’s refused to ask for help. A disappointment settles over him. This new Juno who seems dedicated to bettering himself, still has a long way to go it seems, and the more Peter dwells on it, the more concerned he becomes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been nearly two years since the original incident, certainly in that time Juno would have made at least some progress in adjusting to the change in his vision. Right? Sure, Juno wasn’t the type to actually commit to physical therapy, but at the very least, the lady was stubborn and probably would have figured out some way to deal with it, right? Or was his condition deteriorating? The more he thought about it, the more Peter realized how little he actually knew about what it meant to lose half your vision. Could Juno be losing vision in his other eye? No, that didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like he’d lost his </span>
  <em>
    <span>vision</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the other eye, he’d lost the entire eye. Was this all just a part of it? Were these just long term effects Juno would be dealing with for the rest of his life? Peter certainly felt like an ass. Both for his severe oversight and lack of empathy, and also his rather self-centered way of examining it all. Maybe there’s something to this self-reflection thing after all, because Peter Nureyev is beginning to realize he is a very self-centered person.</span>
</p>
<p><span>His spiraling thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door, and Peter’s mind flashes back to his second night on the ship and his first talk with Juno.</span><span><br/></span> <span>“Come in,” he says and knows before the door even opens who it is. Who else?</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Nureyev,” Juno sounds almost as tentative as he had that first time, but there’s a fragile certainty with which he says Peter’s name that immediately grounds him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Juno. Come sit. Are you- how’s our favorite secretary turned hacker doing?” Juno doesn’t comment on his immediate diversion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, a bit more traumatized than she already was, but she’ll make it. She’s tough. Passed out halfway into the second stream, so after a good night’s rest she oughta be alright. Anyway,” Juno pauses, preparing to shift gears and perhaps broach whatever topic he came here to discuss, but instead; he just stops. The silence hangs heavy and loud between them. Several awkward seconds pass.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“Juno-”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“Nureyev-” They both cut themselves off as they speak simultaneously. An awkward chuckle passes between them. Juno looks at Peter pointedly, so he speaks.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the one who sought me out Juno. I believe the ball is in your court, so to speak,” Peter says. He feels a bit of a coward for it, but at the same time, he feels it is only right for Juno to speak first.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” Juno grunts. He looks tense, but determined. “Alright. I know- I know a lot’s been happening. A lot’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>happened</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I told you I’ve been… working on myself, I guess. Getting better and all that shit. So, this is me… trying to be better and not just ignore my own problems anymore,” he pauses again, deciding how to continue. “You noticed, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- yes. It’s your eye, am I correct?” Juno nods when Peter asks. “Is it-” the guilt begins to creep up again, but he swallows it. Guilt is not useful here. “I suppose I’m a bit confused. And concerned. An eye is no small thing to lose, but I thought, or at least hoped, that you might have adjusted somewhat by now? Is there a reason you haven’t sought out a prosthetic? Or a-” At this, Juno winces and Peter once again cuts himself off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s… that’s what I probably need to talk to you about. A lot happened after- after I left you. I was in a slump for a while. I wasn’t adjusting. To the eye, to life, to everything really. I was stuck. In a real rut to be honest. I wasn’t solving cases, I wasn’t- I wasn’t doing anything. I wanted to blame the eye. I was clumsier than I ever had been, I couldn’t even shoot a blaster anymore, I was- I felt useless. Then I.... How much do you know about the THEIA Soul?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter frowns. With all he’d tried to keep Juno off his mind during those two years, it was impossible to miss the news of an entire city nearly being turned into robot people, or whatever it was that went on exactly. And, like it or not, Peter’s ears were permanently attuned to anything worth mentioning in Hyperion City. So when he’d first heard the news, he’d immediately assumed Juno Steel had been in the thick of it all. It seems he had been right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Juno continues his explanation: meeting O'Flaherty, the THEIA Spectrum, his renewed sense of purpose, and the moment it all came crashing down around him. He holds back some things, but more for the sake of getting to the point and less for the need to hide his trauma.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So. Yeah. I’m not really interested in getting another replacement any time soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I imagine not,” the weight of their conversation brings about another heavy silence. This time, Juno breaks it on his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… never really let myself heal, I guess,” he laughs a little, and while there’s no humor in it, it’s not quite so self deprecating as it might have once been. “I guess that applies to pretty much my entire life, but. Yeah. Lost my eye twice. Haven’t really had much opportunity for physical therapy or whatever the hell you’re supposed to do. But… I want to try adjusting, this time. I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> trying, but I think the whole, living on Mars for almost four decades then high-tailing it to space thing hasn’t really been a gentle adjustment. Every time we land on a new planet and I have to get used to the air pressure or the gravity or whatever the hell, I get light headed and I can’t tell if that’s ‘cause of the eye or just ‘cause I’ve never been off Mars. Probably a bit of both if I’m being honest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I imagine that’s probably the case,” Peter offers. Now that Juno’s said his piece, Peter tries to determine where to go from here. “I can’t imagine you’re particularly eager to bring this up with our resident medic?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, not particularly,” Juno says, a small abashed grin accompanying his words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, as your… friend, I can hardly encourage you to just continue as you are. It’s clearly affecting you, and at the very least perhaps you might learn some… exercises? Or something? That may help?” Juno scrubs the back of his neck, frustrated, but not dismissive.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“Yeah… that’s. That’s why I came here. I figured if I was trying to be serious about this whole ‘getting better’ thing, that probably includes physical health on top of mental health, huh?”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“A fair assessment, I think.”</span></p>
<p><span>“Yeah. I think I just needed someone to talk me into it. So. Thanks, Nureyev, for listening. And, sorry. For worrying you, I mean.”</span><span><br/></span> <span>“I wasn’t-” Peter begins reflexively, but cuts himself off shortly. “Thank you. For coming to me. And for trusting me. And… let me know if there’s any way I can help.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’ll do that,” and this time Juno’s smile isn’t so small. It’s shining with a confidence Peter doesn’t recall ever seeing on the Juno Steel that left him alone in a hotel room. This lady before him continues to surprise him, and Peter Nureyev falls a little more in love.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alternate title for this work: How Many Times Can Peter Nureyev say "Juno" in One Paragraph? The Answer Is: A Lot.</p>
<p>Thanks for reading! Honestly I really don't know what the point of this fic was. I just wanted to explore more Peter-centric narration and also discuss how the loss of his eye (AGAIN) probably affects Juno's every day life. I would like to continue this into a small little series and explore this a bit more, but my track record with actually continuing fics is VERY poor, so no promises. But if I do, just know that it'll be much, much gayer.</p>
<p>Thanks again! And if you want to talk to me about Juno Steel, please feel free to hmu on twitter @tinypackmule or @yellingbucket I need some Penumbra friends, but I'm shy!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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